Bad Art

1. “Summer Hazards”(1979) by P. Maier. The broken, half-eaten creamsicle serves as a metaphor for a crumbling world order. The dominating pale blue of the dress shows the earth rebelling against mankind. The girl’s face looks mean and tired at the same time.

2. “Tired Old Woman” (unkn.). This painting embodies a lifetime of dullness, drab clothing and surroundings, boredom, fatigue, frustration, etc. Tired looking subject matter is characteristic of much of the bad art genre.

3. Detail from “Over There” Sheet music (1919). This perfectly ghastly-looking young man looks like a frozen phantom from the Titanic. The eyes and teeth are especially strange.

4. “The Cross-Eyed Drummer”(unkn.) Detail from paint-by-numbers Revolutionary War scene. Either the drummer got shot in the eye or is holding some kind of grudge.

5. “Oakland Man” (unkn.) Strangely fascinating painting of a black man who sports the look of an unhappy Oakland A’s fan.

6. “Chipper pays the Clerk” (unkn) There’s nothing like a patronizing moment with a child paying a clerk who is five times older than her.

7. “You Shouldn’t have Opened the Door” (unkn) 1950s print seens to take on a new meaning in the 21st century.

8. “Sky Captain and Kid” (unkn) This last in the three series is arguably the best and most haunting. Here, an aviator inspires a happy young man.

9. “Lobby” (by RC) The crown jewel of my collection. This New England primitive features a woman with a huge head, tiny hands and pointed red shoes. Her pet dog or squirrel is faithfully crouched by her side. Originally, the woman had a handlebar moustache that is now painted over.

10. “Ben Laden”(unkn) Micro portrait that is actually only 1/2” x 1”

11. “D’Artagnan’s Secret” (unkn) Masterly brushstrokes depict the deep, dark unknown world of D’Artagnan.

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